This isn’t the first time I’ve written about self-compassion. It also won’t be the last, because self-compassion is that important, including for easing shame and increasing motivation.
There are many words we can use to refer to bodies, including body size. When deciding how to talk about fat bodies, two words I've stopped using are "ob*sity" and "ov*rweight." And when I have to use the O-words, I use them carefully.
While moving toward Intuitive Eating and away from years or decades of dieting is work well worth doing, there are many reasons you might have struggled. Let me talk about some of the most common reasons.
There's a dangerous narrative that's been unfolding, and it's getting worse. Stealing the words and work of fat activists to sell weight loss.
Mindfulness supports habit change by helping us view "failure" non-judgmentally, with kindness and curiosity, making it easer start again. Mindfulness meditation offers a wonderful metaphor for this.
There are always spikes in interest in mindful eating around this time of the year. Unfortunately, much of that spike is because diet culture has tried to co-opt mindful eating for its own devices. In the process, it has twisted mindful eating into “careful” eating and “mind full” eating.
January is World Mindful Eating Month. While a dedicated month is a great way to call attention to this specific type of mindfulness practice, the reality is that mindful eating has benefits 365 days a year.
Today, there are more than 150 published research studies on intuitive eating. In spite of that, there are many misconceptions and myths about intuitive eating.
Can self-compassion improve your health? Yes. Numerous research studies have shown that self-compassion is important for mental and emotional health and well-being. While that’s not super surprising, this may be: newer research is also finding that self-compassion is important for physical health.
My take on each of the 10 Intuitive Eating principles, from "ditch the diet mentality" to "honor your health with gentle nutrition."
When you listen to your body, it's easier for you to protect your health and well being --- and keep yourself safe. Listening to (and trusting) our bodies is important all the time. I had to learn that the hard way.
Who says salad are just for summer? Even though the nip in the air leads us towards warm, hearty soups, stews, braises and roasts, don’t take salads off the menu. A well-composed salad that blends seasonal produce with substantial add-ins can be just as satisfying in the cooler months.
Non-diet, anti-diet, Health at Every Size (HAES) — these terms are showing up more and more in books, magazines, blogs and social media. I hear a lot of questions about what these terms even mean, along with, “Everyone eats some type of diet, so how can anyone be ‘anti-diet’?”
When you face resistance, whether physical or mental, meeting that resistance with compassion can help you overcome limitations (real or perceived) in favor of growth and improvement
Stress isn't always a bad thing, but when you are struggling with chronic stress, especially if it creates allostatic load, that's bad news for your physical and mental health.
How do you view food? Is it fuel, is it pleasure, or is it a bit of both? Obviously, food is fuel for your body, but food is also pleasure.
We come in all shapes and sizes, and we all have eyes. When you "like" someone else's body, are you admiring it or or are you coveting it? It's an important distinction.
This post is part of my “Know Better, Do Better” series, in which I revisit an old blog post that makes me cringe because my thinking has evolved substantially since I wrote it.
Diet culture is just one of many social systems in which people are treated inequitably. It often overlaps not just with ableism, sizeism and healthism, but also with racism, sexism, ageism and classism.
Do you feel like you are always hungry? It's easy to think you should be able to control, or ignore, your hunger, but that’s easier said than done.
If you’ve explored intuitive or mindful eating, you’ve probably crossed paths with hunger scales. Maybe you tried using such a scale, and found it tedious, or even hard. Maybe you wondered, “Is this even helpful?”
There are certain Mediterranean dishes that just scream "summer" and ratatouille is one of them, although honestly this dish will work any time of year, even if the staple ingredients—eggplant, zucchini and tomatoes—are not in season. I enjoy making a big batch that I can eat for days, especially when it's too hot to want to cook every evening.
This post is part of my “Know Better, Do Better” series, in which I revisit an old blog post that makes me cringe because my thinking has evolved substantially since I wrote it.
The good news is that eating with permission and without restrictions doesn’t have to translate to a food free-for-all. It also does not mean trading control for binge eating. At least not for very long. But how you approach trading restriction for permission may matter.
I had avoided cold soup for years, but this fresh, easy, rustic gazpacho is a winner when the temperatures are soaring...or when they're not.
There are few things I love more than a food myth. More specifically, busting a food myth. In today's post, I want to bust a few myths for you, including a few that have a lot of dogma behind them. I'm also including links to some of my past article for The Seattle Times or The Washington Post on these topics.
Looking for some summer reading? I have some body positive (or even body liberation-oriented) picks for both fiction and non-fiction. These are books I’ve read recently, or am currently reading and enthusiastically recommend!
Whether you’re a worrier, a planner, or are just too busy, when you spend most of your time lost in your thoughts, your experience of life gets short shrift. Because when you’re thinking, you aren’t noticing and experiencing the present moment. You aren’t mindful.
Over time, visual food cues might lead us to eat when we’re not hungry more than we would if those cues weren’t present. We’re eating because we are seeking a reward, and that reward isn’t (or isn’t only) the satisfying of hunger.
“Does mindful eating work?” If you mean, "Does it work for weight loss?" then settle in...we have some unpacking to do.
In this complicated world (even more so the past few years), nature may be one of the best antidotes to stress, and one of the best self-care tools at our disposal.
Meal planning can feel like just one more “to-do,” or it can trigger anxiety from past dieting attempts. On the positive side, meal planning can help you meaningfully connect with your food.
If you want to be active, you should be able to be active, regardless of your current fitness level, body size or physical limitations. Here are some inclusive fitness resources that honor body diversity.
A few unfortunate secrets about nutrition science are that it's usually not all that groundbreaking, and that it's totally fatphobic.
Perfectionism does not lead to happiness, and it can prevent us from living a "good enough" life. Unless we turn to self-compassion.
The advice is given so often that’s it’s become gospel: to control your appetite, eat small, frequent meals. But research suggests otherwise.
Have you ever wondered who created the obesity epidemic? Look no further than Big Pharma, who had a lot of weight loss drugs to sell.
While cravings could be based on a nutritional need, most stem from other factors. So should you indulge cravings...or ignore them? The answer depends on what your craving is really telling you.
Size-inclusive clothing brands make more than just good business sense...they offer both style and social justice. Here are some of my picks.
It’s a refrain I hear a little too often: “I just need someone to tell me what to eat.” In today’s age of rampant nutrition confusion, I sort of get it—but I'm not your boss, I'm not your mother, and I'm definitely not the food police! As adults, we need to develop the skills necessary to make decisions about the things that are important to our health and happiness.
You want to try intuitive eating, because you want a more peaceful relationship with food. But you also want to lose weight. Is that OK?
I think you would have to be living under a rock to not notice that a LOT of health messaging --- both in public health and in the doctor’s office --- is focused on body weight, specifically, about the “obesity epidemic.” But is this messaging helping, or harming?
Socca, a large, thin pancake of chickpea flour, water and olive oil, hails from the Mediterranean, but you can easily make it at home. And that's what I'm doing, in a bit of nostalgia for past pre-pandemic travels!
Our bodies are very complex, and while positive inputs (nutritious food, regular movement, adequate sleep, self-care) have countless benefits for health and well-being, there’s no guarantee they will lead to weight loss.
In "The Body Is Not An Apology," Sonja Renee Taylor explains how radical self-love can heal personal body shame while changing the world for the better.
Gentle nutrition honors your health and your taste buds while making you feel well. It’s an approach to nutrition that is nurturing, not punishing.
"Exercise" is a word that can carry a lot of baggage, especially if you've used it to try to lose weight or otherwise control your body. That's why Intuitive Eating focuses on "movement," which can feel more joyful.
It’s hard to make peace with food, honor your hunger and fullness cues, and all the rest, if you’re at war with your body. That’s why the eighth principle of Intuitive Eating is “Respect Your Body.”
The reality is that sometimes, using food to soothe your stress or uncomfortable emotions is the kindest choice — and sometimes it’s not. That makes trying stamp out emotional eating altogether very diet-culturey.
Why the Intuitive Eating principle of "Feel Your Fullness" can be so challenging, especially if you are a chronic dieter or are a member of the Clean Plate Club.
Eating is supposed to be pleasurable and satisfying. Yes, food is our fuel, but when we eat satisfying food in a pleasant environment, the pleasure we experiences ADDS to our satisfaction. And food satisfaction and pleasure not only adds to our happiness, it makes it more likely that we will happily eat a variety of nutritious foods.
Pumpkins deserve a lot more respect than they get from Halloween jack-o’-lanterns and pumpkin spice lattes. Sure, they’re a centerpiece of most Thanksgiving dessert tables, but pumpkin’s flavor and nutrition assets make it a worthy part of everyday fall and winter meals.
There’s no shortage of opinions on how we should or shouldn’t eat, on which foods are “good” foods and which foods are “bad” foods. Yet no matter what comments we hear from the collective food police, our inner food police is likely to be harsher.
The Intuitive Eating principle Make Peace With Food is about unconditional permission to eat, and it's a place where new Intuitive Eaters can get stuck.
When you become programmed to believe that you can’t trust your body when it tells you it needs fuel, it becomes hard to honor your hunger.
The first Intuitive Eating principle is “Reject the Diet Mentality,” and while this principle is fundamental, it looks different depending on your dieting history.
Do you find it hard to really connect with other people? Or, do you feel like you’re a dumping ground for other people’s problems and demands? If you answered yes to either of these, your boundaries might need a tune up.
Exercise is good for every body, so it's exciting that there are more and more size inclusive fitness resources. Here are my top picks.
When you aspire to become an intuitive eater, the journey is more important than simply getting to the destination. There is no finish line.
Food addiction is a hotly contested idea. But regardless of where science stands, it does appear that the "food addiction" label fuels fatphobia.
Are processed carbs really universally responsible for weight gain? Let's look at recent claims, along with other factors to consider.
Part of breaking free of dieting and moving towards body acceptance is grieving what you’re leaving behind. Here's what the grief process might look like.
When it comes to eating, many people focus on what to eat before giving care and attention to how they eat. They could use an eating skills tune up.
Looking for body peace? My review of "More Than A Body" by Lindsay and Lexie Kite gives an overview of this phenomenal book, and the pathway it offers to body image resilience.
When we meticulously track our calories in and calories out, then feel secure in the final tally, we're really just kidding ourselves. That's because calories aren't always what they seem. This is why Intuitive Eating is a better way to gauge when you've had "enough" to eat.
You know what bothers me? The idea that anyone needs to change their body to meet someone else's ideals. That "someone" could be a spouse/partner, a friend, a stranger, or society at large.
If not dieting, then what? That question tends to loom heavy in your mind when you've decided it's time to get off the diet rollercoaster, but aren't sure what life after dieting would look like. And there are many reasons for saying goodbye to dieting, a.k.a. the intentional pursuit of weight loss.
Does losing weight improve health? The long-term effects of weight loss dieting may not be quite what you expect. You might even be surprised.
The idea of maintaining weight within the boundaries of a so-called “healthy” weight range is replacing talk of being “thin” or achieving a certain clothing size. But have we just swapped one distorted way of thinking for another?
The feeling that you can't stop overeating can be physical, psychological...or both. That's why it's important to consider the root causes.
When you want to give up dieting and embrace intuitive eating, but are finding it hard to "do the work," you may be conflicted about changing.
Why do we need to shut down fat talk, diet talk and body shaming of strangers? Because these are not innocent behaviors...they cause real harm.
The The New York Times supported fatphobia by publishing an article that suggested cutting ties with friends who are fat. That's a problem.
Not feeling great about your body or your eating or exercise habits? Instead of falling for diets in disguise, consider what wellness really means.
Breaking up with dieting? You may think that meal planning and intuitive eating are far from a perfect match. Here's why you should reconsider.
Food deprivation can lead to binge eating or compulsive eating, and that deprivation can be voluntary (dieting) or not (food insecurity).
There are many things kids have to do that they may not consent to (like homework). But those things don’t do damage the way non-consensual dieting does.
Thursday is no-diet day. Why not make it "no more diets" day? If you've been thinking about saying, "Bye, bye, don't let the door hit you on the way out" to diets, May 6 is certainly as good as any day to start.
A key part of habit change is awareness. If we’re not aware of our habits, we can't change them. But there’s a problem with awareness...the messy middle.
How and why we eat isn’t just about the food, and that fact is certainly no less true when you look at Intuitive Eating. A new study really highlights that...and says a lot about society, too.
Any kind of food restriction or deprivation can lead to rebound or compensatory eating, sometimes even binging. This phenomenon is something I’m seeing right now in some friends and family, as well as a few clients, who find themselves really reveling in the freedom of dining out with also vaccinated friends and family.
I have a mantra when I exercise: “Exercise to be strong, not smaller.” It’s what gets me through on those days when body image is not exactly in peak form, as I dare say is the case for everyone, at least from time to time. It’s also a way of continuing to deprogram myself from decades of believing that the primary benefit of exercise was weight loss.
Even if you have Zoom fatigue, you can still listen to stuff, right? And now that we've waved buh-bye to winter and welcomed spring's (sometimes) warm embrace, odds are you'll be outdoors more. And needing stuff to listen to. Fancy some non-diet podcasts? While I've subscribed to a LOT of podcasts, these are the five that I listen to and recommend the most
There’s a lot of interest in Intuitive Eating, and while learning to become an intuitive eater again can be hard work, it’s unnecessarily hard, not to mention frustrating, when would-be intuitive eaters fall into one of these three common traps.
If I were to make a bet, I would bet that most of you wouldn’t mind having more energy. And possibly more stable energy. It’s no fun feeling like we are moving through our days operating consistently at about 70 percent of what we know ourselves to be capable of. Here are six solid tips for moving yourself closer to 100 percent.
You're a grown-ass woman with decades of experiences to your credit, and you've got it all together — at least you look like you do. OK, sure, you never have a kind word for yourself when you look in the mirror. And, yeah, you're obsessed with what you're eating (or not eating), get anxious if you have to miss a planned exercise session, and maybe you indulge in some secret binges, and even an occasional purge? Those can't possibly be signs of an eating disorder...right?
I’ve discussed the “one bite at a time concept” from my website tagline so now let’s turn our attention to the phrase “optimal health.” What is that, exactly?
When it comes to health, does body mass index (BMI) matter? That question has been a matter of debate for decades. A mathematical formula originally developed by to look at trends in population health, today many healthcare providers use BMI as it was never intended—to diagnose individual patients.
As tempting as it is to imagine that life falls neatly into categories, this sort of black-or-white, all-or-nothing thinking does not reflect the fact that life is, if not messy, at least existing on a spectrum or continuum. That’s no less true with how we relate to our body weight, our food, and how we move our bodies.
While more and more people are seeing the benefits of an approach to health that doesn’t make losing weight or being relatively thin a priority, there is also a lot of misconceptions about Health at Every Size, or HAES. Some of those misconceptions are innocent, others are willful and even calculated.
In my column last week for The Seattle Times, I reviewed the new book from Lindo Bacon, “Radical Belonging.” As is often the case, when I interview book authors, there’s a lot of material that gets left on the “cutting room floor” because I run out my allotted words. Here, I give space to those words, as well as talk about what Bacon's books mean to me.
It's easy to slip into food-restriction mode if you "overdid it" during the holidays. Here's why you should choose food peace instead.
I occasionally about whether Intuitive Eating is basically “intuitive weight loss” — although honestly, most people who contact me about learning Intuitive Eating are simply sick and tired of (even exhausted from) the years or decades of dieting they’ve put themselves through. They’ve reached the point where they just want to make peace with food and their bodies.
There’s a lot we can’t control in life — especially now. And some of the uncertainty that cast a shadow over three-fourths of 2020 will seep into at least the first part of 2021. But most of us are fortunate enough to have the ability to meet our basic needs (I fully realize that this is not the case for some). But how you view those needs can mean the difference between surviving and thriving.
It's Christmas week, and whether you celebrate Christmas or instead honor one of the other winter holidays, why not give yourself something nice this week. I'm pretty sure you deserve it. Because the best gifts don't have to carry a hefty price tag --- or any price tag, really --- I want to offer you five ideas for totally free gifts you can give yourself, all in the spirit of trying something new and practicing meaningful self-care.
How have the holidays been treating you so far, foodwise? Are you feeling peaceful about food, or conflicted and chaotic with a side of guilt? If you are in a pattern of yo-yo dieting, that potentially sets you up for a lot of chaos and guilt when faced with foods that don't fit how you think you "should" eat.
Resilience helps us survive (and even thrive) when times are tough, and self-compassion can help you build or recover this essential trait. That's important, because resilience affects our physical and mental well-being.
In the presence of once-a-year holiday treats and the pressure to be jolly, it’s easy to fall prey to one of two extremes: plunging into overindulgence or retreating into deprivation. Instead of labeling foods as "good" or "bad,” take a more meaningful approach by incorporating some mindfulness + intuitive eating into your holidays.
I recently signed up for home deliveries from Imperfect Foods, and it turned out to be a "perfect" pandemic solution. In my review, I spill the (imperfect) beans.
Do you fall prey to busy brain syndrome? Do you feel guilty if you're not being "productive"? You can probably thank this country's Puritan legacy for the idea that idleness is akin to all manner of sins. But here's the reality: Our brains need more downtime...and there's no underestimating the benefits of that downtime.
